Last Friday I was invited to speak at the Birdhaus coworking space in Zurich about the chapter in my book, "Activate Your Life", which came out in October.
Birdhaus is a female coworking space in Zurich and it is full of talented female enterpreneurs. I love and admire their courage and I can relate to it, since this is how I started FindYourWay Coaching.
However, we all had a problem in common: it is hard to say NO to things, especially when you have to make opportunities for yourself. Can you say NO to clients, suppliers, and feeling you are missing out on something?
The answer is: yes, you can do that. Why? because sometimes many NO's that we say are absolutely necessary to open other doors. We might not be ready for a certain event, or type of client, or for an opportunity. It might be scary.
But look inside yourself and analyze your values and what you believe in. If those opportunities do not reflect them, then withdraw and think about it first. It is very easy. Go for a walk, just have an inner dialogue.
- Am I being realistic about this project that I want to do?
- Am I being too enthusiastic, or pessimistic or just not ready?
- What is the goal for my business, in one year or 10 years?
Have uncomfortable talks with suppliers or potential partners about the stuff you don't like and would like to change about them. Involve them in the conversation, and do not fear their reaction. If you are genuine, they will understand.
I was also asked: what if people around me get mad when I say NO to them? Well, this is always a risk. This is why, it is better to tell the truth about the reasons behind your NO, so that people can relate and empathize with those. Excuses will come back to you and always make you feel insecure on the following step to make. Lies are even worse, because people can sense them.
I encourage you to find a way to make it always work. Saying NO at the end is a compromise, and do you know who you have to compromise first with? YOURSELF :)