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Alessandra Patti

FindYourWay Coaching - Zurich

info@findyourway.company  +41(0) 76 407 44 64

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Self-esteem from the outside

August 29, 2018

I am trying to solve a specific issue that still is not so clear to me.

 

Self-esteem and self-assertiveness comes from within, and also from all the experiences we have collected, in the past and in the present. 

 

Nathaniel Branden, my mentor and author of my favorite book, says that nobody is responsible on this planet to make us feel good. We have to feel good for what we are, intrinsically, because we exist, and we have a right on this planet. I get that, but isn't is normal to want to have attention or confirmations from the outside when you are working your ass off for something? I mean, I have never seen a man alone on an island with high self-esteem!!!  (maybe only Tom Hanks). We need to have some outside confirmation or compliment or kind of a "good job" pat on our back to carry on. Even the firmest people with very high self-esteem can enjoy someone telling them "Wow, well done!"

 

I agree with my friend Nathaniel, nobody is indeed responsible for that. I cannot say to a particular person "you HAVE TO MAKE ME FEEL GOOD!", because I need to feel good on my own terms, inside of me and in my skin. What maybe can be asked is "Acknowledge my existence, trust me, have faith in me". We all need these things as human beings!

 

A person struggling to get a job contract, or clients, or a person who has been in the same company for 10 years and sees that nothing changes, a person stuck in a relationship...without an external input.. how these people carry on? So I would conclude that other people around us are not to be blamed if we lack self-confidence, but to be expected to trust us in our process, and support us, the hell YES! 

 

 

 

 

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